Monday, January 12, 2009

Understanding the male species

I have come to the conclusion men have selective detail orientation. Greg and Nick can watch a movie and not remember a certain dress the main character was wearing (through the WHOLE movie) but when playing the soundtrack can describe each scene where the particular song was played. They also notice make/model of every car including hub caps/ rims and look at you like you are nuts if you don't. Greg and Nick amaze me at times with their observations. A lot of times I write them off because I can change my hair color and Greg may not notice for a full day, or Les can have her braces removed and Nick will not notice for days. However, sometimes they are so detailed oriented that it is scary. Therefore I feel it is selective.

Greg, while driving to his best bud's house the other day, said something to his friend over the phone that explains my point.

Greg: We are off the highway at an earlier exit and need directions from here to your house.

Walt: OK, you will want to continue going straight and then you will turn right at the next major intersection... well, wait a minute.. how far down are you???

Me: Hold on a minute and I will tell you the name of the next street we are crossing.

Greg: No, tell him we are getting ready to pass the tower that is skinny at the bottom and fat in the middle and then skinny at the top again and it looks like it could blow over.

Me: Are you kidding me??? He won't know where THAT is..... that tower could be anywhere.

Greg: Just tell him... he will know.

Walt: (interrupts me while I am talking to Greg) Oh yeah, from the tower you will go through two more lights then make a left.

Me: You two have lost your minds.

Who pays attention to skinny, fat, skinny towers so much that they use them as a land mark??? Ok a huge water tower maybe but a cell phone tower?? How do they notice detail on trivial things such as cars and towers, but don't see spaghetti sauce all over a child's face while on the way to church? Or the fact that the dog is lying in the middle of the floor destroying a pair of socks??

While observing the male species , mostly the two I live with, I have also appreciated the reasoning behind it all. Man's detail orientation is specific to what THEY find important while a woman's detail orientation is specific to what THEY find important. DUH!

We think "how can you look at this child and think they look OK for church" and they think " how can you look at this car and not notice the sweet Creager rims" ? ( I actually had to ask Greg the name of a cool rim in order to write this) :) Or "how could you drive your car ALL day long and not notice your tire needs air"? Women are created to notice when something is out of sorts with our children, family and friends. Whether it be physical or emotional.... we see it and seek out to fix it. Men on the other hand are providers, they notice mechanical, electronic "tool" type fixtures. Male providers thousands of years ago wouldn't notice if a child was dirty or crying over a boo boo.. they would care whether or not their family had food to eat and if their "tool" was sharp enough to help them provide for their family.

So, with this revelation I have decide not to be so hard on Greg and Nick when they don't notice things that I CLEARLY find important because they are not wired to find it important. It is MY job to communicate to them it is something that is important to me. I know I will never notice the difference (without it being pointed out to me) between a specific hub cap/ rim, airplane, modem/router (the electronic list could go on and on) or that my tire needs air. Not that I won't try.... because I have.... but it doesn't come as easy to me as important stuff like wearing a black belt with black shoes instead of brown ones. :)

I will tell you this... I will notice skinny, fat, skinny towers from now on. :)

I received an email the other day that I thought was funny. I would like to say this is not true... however, it is spot on.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying Screw YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

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