Sunday, April 26, 2015

Change is good... so I'm learning

It appears my last posting was nearly 3 years ago.  I find this hard to believe, but one cannot argue with dates on a computer I suppose.  I used to use this blog as a way to update out of town family on vacations and other happenings in our life as well as a therapy tool to organize my thoughts.  I would often reflect upon previous posts and use them as a gauge of growth at times.  Recently it occurred to me I had not done this in a very long time, and I missed it.  So here I am.

I find myself quiet today.  I say this because it happens to be a rare occurrence.  I am sitting with my feet up, sunshine on my face and the sounds of a babbling creek and birds singing in the distance. This environment is my home base, my safe zone, the place I go when I need my battery recharged.  Lets just say I haven't quieted myself like this in a while, too long to be exact.  When life is moving at the speed of light I find myself not realizing just how fast I am going and how neglected certain aspects of my life have become.

I feel as if my life is a whirlwind and I am struggling to catch my breath.  I am very much a creature of habit and struggle at times with change.  Somehow however I have found myself in a season of life where nothing is as it used to be.  Not one single aspect of my life is the same as it was 6 or 3 or even 1 month ago.  Oddly enough... I'm still standing and life continues to move onward.

Last June our daughter married our now son-in-law Anthony Rohrer.  Beautiful wedding, beautiful couple.  Late October Greg and I discussed purchasing a property as an investment property and flip it early the next spring.  December 2nd we closed on said property.  December 15th-December 28th Greg and I spent most of our time painting, removing carpet and wallpaper and finally started to see the full potential of the house (which we lovingly referred to as Flipper).  We are the worst house flippers in the history of house flipping because we decided to keep the house and move in.

Three days after this decision Leslie and Anthony decided they wanted to purchase OUR house. We then found ourselves in a two house project because our other house was not quite move in quality for the kids as we had unfinished projects (which we lost interest in ) that still needed to be finished.  We all went to work each day and came "home" to our second job as a construction crew where we painted cabinets, laid new flooring, installed new appliances.. the list goes on and on.  All of our belongings were spread out between two homes and neither home looked or felt like home.

Nick was not at all disturbed by any of this because he was gaining a lower level bachelor pad and couldn't get moved in quick enough.  He didn't even wait to have the flooring replaced in his room before moving in and still has psychedelic carpet in his room. It resembles the aliens in the Atari game Space Invaders in case you needed a visual.

In the middle of all of this we were told we were going to be grandparents!

We couldn't be more excited about the change that is happening in our life at this moment.  ALL of it is great stuff, I just feel so much of it has happened so quickly I haven't had time to soak in one before another one hits.. until today.  Today I am quiet.  

Yesterday, as we were listening to the rain, Greg said " I think God created rain not only to water the earth, but to also create a stillness in us, a way to quiet our minds and our bodies".  He was absolutely correct in that moment because had it not been raining he and I both would have been outside working on our non existent landscaping, or mowing the grass, or painting, or doing any other outside job that needed attention.  Instead we were inside, laying on our bed and listening to the drops of rain.  
Eric Church sings "Turn the quiet up, turn the noise down, let this whole world, just spin around".  This morning at church we were asked to quiet our hearts, focus on the quiet whisper of God and not the ever so loud voice in our head telling us to focus on ourselves.  I again remembered what it felt like to be quiet, really quiet.  Not the quiet you feel just as you fall asleep because your bones are so exhausted they might burst into dust, but the quiet you feel when you again realize life is so much bigger than you.  The quiet that brings peace from a quiet whisper that says "I got this".  In this moment I feel silly stressing over  unfinished back splashes, or grocery lists, or unpainted stone walls, or... well, you get the idea.  All of this is so unimportant and I am sad I have missed several months of quietness and the appreciation of simplified living.  

Its odd to me that my place of solitude, my home base and safe zone is forever changing season after season and yet it is where I go to draw peace for my life.  I'm thankful for the creator of my ever changing life and thankful He is my one constant that will never change.  

So, I'm learning I can survive change and it really CAN be good, and on a side note...Immersion Therapy works.